Sanctuary Mental Health: Part 2

By Karen Whistler

Spiritual Trauma. If these words send a chill down your spine, you may have been harmed by toxic theology or damaging church practices. I am so sorry if that is your experience. As I have learned, these situations are so deeply violating and disorienting. It cuts down to our core sense of belovedness when God is used as a justification to control others or a weapon to instill a sense of fear. All too often the church, which should be our sanctuary, has been the source of harm. This is real. And it is not okay. 

This post is quite personal to me. I didn’t have the language for it until recently, but a number of years ago I spoke at my previous church of the wrestling I had with faith amidst tremendous suffering. What I didn’t realize until years later was the extent of how my suffering was exacerbated by my faith community and messages from the pulpit. I felt grateful to land in the safety of the church where I first shared my story, but the lasting wounds are still being untangled in my heart and faith.

My very own counselor, Hillary McBride recently released a podcast in collaboration with Sanctuary Mental Health Ministries that I pray will transform lives towards healing. We met Hillary when I was pregnant with our second child, nine years ago. She was part of a birth trauma counseling program through BC Women’s Hospital. Hillary helped Nate and I prepare to enter into the delivery room after a dangerous and volatile experience with our first child. She has been my therapist ever since.

In the compelling Holy/Hurt podcast, Hillary explores what trauma is, as well as what it does to our bodies, minds, and spirits. She explains just how insidious spiritual trauma can be, particularly when our identity and sense of belonging are tied into the church families that have caused us harm.

Leslie Roberts from Sanctuary Mental Health unpacks her own experience and announces the Holy/Hurt podcast here.

This podcast is meant to be experienced in order. So, start at the beginning. Hillary dives into the technicalities of what we know about trauma. She validates the messages our bodies send us when things are not okay. Bodily messages that in my own church experience were labeled as “sin” and disobedience because they were viewed as questioning doctrine—further driving a wedge between the intuition of my spirit and my desire to obey “God” and be good. In truth, I’ve come to understand that these signals were the Divine voice of love speaking Wisdom to me. 

Honestly, I had to pace this out series out. To listen, to pause, then to give myself space to process before continuing on. If you do embark on listening, please be gentle with yourself. Whatever comes up is real and is telling you something. Listen to your body and pay attention to what the spirit brings up for you. 

And if Spiritual Trauma is not your experience, I challenge you to listen. To learn and to ask yourself how we as a body can create space for the spiritually wounded that is safe and honors the loving intent God has for each of us.

If you like Hillary’s work, here are some additional resources from her:
Mothers, Daughters, & Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are (Link: https://hillarylmcbride.com/mothers-daughters-and-body-image/)
The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living (Link:https://hillarylmcbride.com/the-wisdom-of-your-body/)
Other People’s Problems: (Link:https://www.cbc.ca/listen/cbc-podcasts/186-other-peoples-problems) a podcast where Hillary broadcasts real therapy sessions to reduce the stigma of therapy. 
Podcast episodes featuring Hillary (Link: https://hillarylmcbride.com/media/)
​